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coming out - "Mature Transmen"

About coming out

Previous Entry coming out Jun. 11th, 2006 @ 03:52 am Next Entry
I'm going home tomorrow - the very last flights of my round-the-world tour. It's time for me to go home and get my life back on track.


I've been away from home since late in February, and in all the time I've had to do some really heavy duty thinking, I've decided to transition.

My biggest problem is telling my mother. I love my mother dearly, and I don't want to hurt her. But when I tentatively mentioned changing gender earlier in the year, her comment was "Don't you dare!". To a large extent my mother and I are each other's support group, since neither of us has a partner.

As I've previously mentioned, I've been dressing in an increasingly more masculine fashion over the last year. I'm now determined to dress "male" all the time. I've had my hair cut fairly short, and though it's not as masculine-looking as I wanted, it will do for now. I also found some lycra undershirts that do as breast binding for the time being, since my breasts are fairly small. I don't look totally male, but I don't look totally female either. I'm also working on my walk, stance and mannerisms.

Right at the moment, my mother has enough on her plate to manage, what with my grandparents both being ill. I don't want to add to her stress with poor timing. But I do want to "begin like I mean to go on", and for me that means to dress as I feel, to make the outside match the inside so to speak.

I think it will be easier for both of us that way.

SO, anyone got any good advice on dealing with telling your mother?
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From:allthecolors
Date:June 11th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC)
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did you cross post this to FTM and _ftm_? Cuz those groups will probably give you more input.

In the mean time, I told my mother via a letter because that's what she wanted. My Aunt who helped raise me however, I told in person. Each person is different and how much information they want and seek out is different. I told them that I realize they each have their own process and however much information they want I'm happy to help them get. That there are books and websites but there are also websites that are not realistic at all so it would be better to get some links from me and gave them a list of book referances, links, and local support groups for parents of GLBT kids.

All in all, it helped.

I talk about it more on my transitioning page at www.3bois.com/trans.html ignore the rest of the 3bois site unless you like kink/fetish/leather etc.

Sean-Michael
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